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Old good England
joke, fun, anecdote
joke, fun, anecdote
Restaurant
Two men are talking in the restaurant about offer "Special freshly toaste, filled pannini za £ 3,95". Suddenly appears man from black Africa and say: "For woman is too much!".Scafflod
Two men take first scaffold which see. After ten minutes later come next two men with legend "ceiling partition" on theirs shoulders and they want take back their scaffold. First men face round to each other and one say: "No problem Michael, we robber another one".Tube
At the question: "Why don't function toilets?" je tato odpověď: "Sooomeeee peopleeee frommmm Lithuaniannnnnn, Czech Reeepubliccccc or Polishhh takee off piiipeeee, NOT English people!?!".The Sunday Times September 18, 2005
Europe weather forecast by The Sunday Times... Where is The Czechoslovakia?Construction / Destruction
Come boy with minimal knowledge of english language to personal agancy ask for job. At the question about experience he answer: "I have a lot of experience in destruction" instead of "construction"...How are you?
How are you? . . . Still alive...Riddle about WWW
What is in UK unsteady? 3xWWW (rehtaew, krow, efiw)Curriculum vitae (CV) – autobiography
Michael, my CV is written here... and he shown £1 coin in his hand...STOP/GO
Sometimes you have feeling, that some jobs could be make better, simply say: manager's directives are against common sence. But when we will think about it, manager (foreman – proud names for everything) is very clever. Bad decisions slow down time of work, and this waste time will pay by the man who hired manager. For example: if to be some activity on the road, is hired a man for 5 per hour (de facto minimal wage), whose work is the managing temporary closure of traffic (building, unloading, etc.). Exactly you will turn the road signal (GO/STOP) for eight hours. Against healthy problems you will obtain plastic chair, bottle of Coca Cola (just to be sure two bottles – drinking regime – this you will pay from your wage). If you are interesting for this lucrative job, you have to be faster than others, cause one hour after publication an advertisement in Job centre you will take a competition with others people from new European Union countries, also with people from EEA, next one from non European Union like following countries: India, Pakistan, Kenya, Jamaica, South Africa, Uganda, Ethiopia, Afghanistan, Armenia or other inhabitants for us exotic countries. After filling application form employer will contact you through phone, post or never, have a look order is very important! Nevertheless if you will go to the interview (for this indeed lucrative position) in any case you shouldn't come late even 2 minutes, don't let take anything no chance, set right your alarm-clock! At the latest a day before meeting you should have three things with you for an appointment: reflexive vest about £8, safety shoes about £25 and safety helmet about £5. for a meeting you will cost minimal £40 and anywise is not sure if you are good candidate. Be sure that candidates from black Africa have better english language then you Sorry, Where exactly are you from? Czech Republic?!? I will investigate if you are in the European Union...
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